#Soylent | Logs for 2016-08-05

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[00:28:05] -!- DoughNuts [DoughNuts!~62b0c8c6@ka52-830-964-802.sd.sd.cox.net] has joined #Soylent
[00:32:17] -!- DoughNuts has quit [Client Quit]
[01:41:03] <Naze> baby bacon
[01:44:52] <cmn32480> it is tenderer
[01:49:11] <cmn32480> what fucktards design the interface to a pie e of network equipment in flash?
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[02:00:47] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - New Attack Steals SSNs, E-Mail Addresses, and More From HTTPS Pages - http://sylnt.us - inherently-insecure
[02:06:20] -!- Arc| has quit [Ping timeout: 240 seconds]
[02:21:10] <cmn32480> #sammich
[02:21:10] * MrPlow whips up a spam sammich for cmn32480
[02:25:40] <cmn32480> #sammich
[02:25:40] * MrPlow whips up a chromas sammich for cmn32480
[02:25:55] <cmn32480> mrPlow - how about a GOOD sammich this time???
[02:25:58] <cmn32480> mrPlow - how about a GOOD sammich this time???
[02:26:00] <cmn32480> #sammich
[02:26:00] * MrPlow whips up a vegemite sammich for cmn32480
[02:26:07] <cmn32480> #smake Mrplow
[02:26:07] * MrPlow smakes Mrplow upside the head with broiled hog anus
[02:35:20] <TheMightyBuzzard> #sammich
[02:35:20] * MrPlow whips up a vibrating rooster sammich for TheMightyBuzzard
[02:35:36] <cmn32480> #sammich
[02:35:36] * MrPlow whips up a knuckle sammich for cmn32480
[02:35:42] <cmn32480> your bot hates me
[02:36:04] <cmn32480> !WOOP
[02:36:18] <cmn32480> just saved myself a trip to a shitty part of texas!
[02:36:21] <TheMightyBuzzard> #sammich
[02:36:22] * MrPlow whips up a spider sammich for TheMightyBuzzard
[02:36:30] <cmn32480> seems he don't like you either
[02:36:33] <TheMightyBuzzard> weird, i just sqooshed a spider
[02:36:43] <cmn32480> #sammichadd unicorns and rainbows
[02:36:43] <MrPlow> "unicorns and rainbows" added.
[02:36:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> recycling i guess. dunno who taught him to do that.
[02:42:17] * TheMightyBuzzard scoots off to bed
[02:45:47] <cmn32480> #sammichadd pleasant hooters
[02:45:47] <MrPlow> "pleasant hooters" added.
[02:48:05] -!- Popeidol [Popeidol!~popeidol@622-655-128-89.dyn.iinet.net.au] has joined #Soylent
[03:31:56] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Portion of Gary Kildall's Memoir Made Public - http://sylnt.us - troubled-genius
[03:39:40] Bytram is now known as Bytram|away
[03:39:52] <Bytram|away> ~gnight #Soylent
[03:39:54] * exec spontaneously hangs a trigger warning sign about a wad of grits on #Soylent
[04:19:00] <SirFinkus> protip:
[04:19:20] <SirFinkus> using a can of compressed air to try and cool down a bottle of beer quickly will only end in tears and a mess
[04:19:49] <SirFinkus> glass shattered, and apparently the air had a bitterant in it
[04:20:20] <SirFinkus> which is extremely potent btw
[05:03:05] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Eerily Complete Whale Skeleton Found on Bottom of Sea - http://sylnt.us - davy-jones-locker
[05:14:46] <Naze> sounds like a pretty unfun even
[05:39:09] <Subsentient> #sammichadd smoked cat nipple jerky
[05:39:09] <MrPlow> "smoked cat nipple jerky" added.
[05:39:18] <Subsentient> #sammichadd horse tentacle tofu
[05:39:18] <MrPlow> "horse tentacle tofu" added.
[05:39:27] <Subsentient> #sammichadd broiled hog anus
[05:39:27] <MrPlow> "broiled hog anus" added.
[06:25:14] -!- blitzed [blitzed!~blitzed@tjz-46-32-89-68.san.res.rr.com] has joined #Soylent
[06:34:13] -!- blitzed has quit [Quit: Leaving]
[06:56:43] -!- crutchy [crutchy!~crutchy@709-27-2-01.cust.aussiebb.net] has joined #Soylent
[07:04:37] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Missouri Governor Fails to Fund Public Defender's Office so They Compel him to Work Cases - http://sylnt.us - revenge-is-sweet
[07:04:51] <Subsentient> https://www.youtube.com
[07:04:52] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity - Indifferent Suns (Haven 2000 album) - YouTube
[07:05:08] <Subsentient> That's some damn good metal right there.
[07:08:17] <SirFinkus> pretty meh so far
[07:12:39] <Subsentient> SirFinkus, https://www.youtube.com
[07:12:40] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity- Terminus - YouTube
[07:13:39] <SirFinkus> synth is awful
[07:14:18] <SirFinkus> tries and fails to be menacing
[07:14:46] <Subsentient> SirFinkus, You sir, have no taste.
[07:15:39] <SirFinkus> nope
[07:16:39] <SirFinkus> it's generic as fuck
[07:18:04] <Subsentient> SirFinkus, I've loved them in particular for years.
[07:20:12] <SirFinkus> reminds me of this garbage https://www.youtube.com
[07:20:18] <systemd> ^ 03Earlyrise - Wasteland (Lyrics) - YouTube
[07:21:41] <boru> Tell us how you really feel.
[07:23:22] <SirFinkus> it sucks
[07:24:11] * boru chuckles.
[07:24:24] <Subsentient> SirFinkus: I bet you don't even like Korn.
[07:24:40] <SirFinkus> nope, I don't
[07:24:52] <Subsentient> SirFinkus << bad taste
[07:25:07] <SirFinkus> taste is defined by me
[07:25:25] <boru> Corn is delicious.
[07:25:52] <xhedit> korn is metal for 4 year olds
[07:25:57] <SirFinkus> isn't the k supposed to be backwards?
[07:26:34] <SirFinkus> oh wait, it's the r
[07:26:48] <boru> There's no 'k' in corn, silly.
[07:33:05] <Subsentient> xhedit: I like Korn's deranged sound. Their 'twisted' aesthetic.
[07:34:52] <SirFinkus> most offensive thing you've posted in the channel Subsentient
[07:35:11] * boru chuckles.
[07:35:32] <Subsentient> Really? http://tubgirl.ca http://goatse.info http://lemonparty.org
[07:35:38] <systemd> ^✓ 03Tubgirl
[07:35:38] <systemd> ^ 03Eh
[07:35:38] <systemd> ^ 03Lemon Party - A game of bingo gone horribly wrong
[07:36:02] <boru> Yes, even still.
[07:37:19] <Subsentient> lol
[07:47:31] <SirFinkus> I'm insulted
[07:47:45] <SirFinkus> I've been on the internet longer than that
[07:47:54] <SirFinkus> tamer than shit on youtube
[07:48:02] <SirFinkus> time to take a shit
[07:54:24] <xhedit> if I want deranged and twisted i'll listen to marilyn manson who makes music for 12 year olds at least
[08:02:15] <SirFinkus> unstable OS betas are fun!
[08:02:36] <SirFinkus> computer took a shit while I was taking a shit
[08:05:39] <xhedit> https://www.youtube.com
[08:05:40] <systemd> ^ 03Type O Negative - I Don't Wanna Be Me - YouTube
[08:09:55] <Naze> unstable shitting, the circle of life
[08:13:14] <xhedit> or https://www.youtube.com
[08:13:20] <systemd> ^ 03The Birthday Massacre - Happy Birthday (HQ) - YouTube
[08:16:09] <SirFinkus> bleh
[08:17:07] <xhedit> lemme guess, you like gwar or slayer? :P
[08:17:47] <SirFinkus> slayer isn't terrible
[08:18:57] <xhedit> i like slayer alright, but i prefer melodic to thrash
[08:19:37] * SirFinkus tries to find something in the ballpark
[08:21:02] <xhedit> i'll even listen to dimmu borgir once in a while
[08:28:59] <SirFinkus> meh, I got nothing
[08:29:06] <SirFinkus> been digging on stuff like this lately though https://www.youtube.com
[08:29:12] <systemd> ^ 03Fuzz - Earthen Gate - YouTube
[08:30:17] <SirFinkus> vocals aren't my favorite
[08:33:16] <SirFinkus> https://www.youtube.com Subsentient's favorite song
[08:33:16] <systemd> ^✓ 03Goodbye Horses - Q Lazzarus - YouTube
[08:35:47] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Rio 2016: Kohei Uchimura Gets £3,700 Pokemon GO Bill - http://sylnt.us - gold-medal-for-sale
[09:00:15] -!- Naze has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
[09:01:04] -!- Naze [Naze!~modus@192.42.lmt.sl] has joined #Soylent
[09:57:39] <TheMightyBuzzard> #submit http://americanmilitarynews.com
[09:57:40] <MrPlow> Submitting. There is a mandatory delay, please be patient.
[09:58:05] <MrPlow> Submission successful. https://soylentnews.org
[10:01:39] <crutchy> ~seen xlefay
[10:01:40] <exec> crutchy, xlefay not seen in #Soylent
[10:01:50] <crutchy> ~seen mrcoolbp
[10:01:52] <exec> crutchy, mrcoolbp was last seen in #Soylent 14 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes, 13 seconds ago with message: sorry for the inconvenience = )
[10:02:10] <TheMightyBuzzard> ~seen bewbs
[10:02:11] <exec> TheMightyBuzzard, bewbs not seen in #Soylent
[10:02:19] <crutchy> ~link bewbs
[10:02:20] <exec> └─ "bewbs" not found
[10:02:23] <crutchy> ~bewbs
[10:02:24] <TheMightyBuzzard> ain't that the truth
[10:02:25] <exec> (o Y o)
[10:03:18] <TheMightyBuzzard> still busy with the work project?
[10:03:24] <crutchy> ~macro ~bewbs * internal ~rainbow (o Y o)
[10:03:25] <exec> 02 *** macro with trigger "~bewbs" and INTERNAL command template "~rainbow (o Y o)" saved
[10:03:29] <crutchy> yeah
[10:03:40] <crutchy> working on a websockets server atm
[10:03:56] <TheMightyBuzzard> suck. we were gonna switch the site to php and make you senior dev.
[10:04:07] <crutchy> hehe
[10:04:25] <crutchy> there's still life in her. no need to throw the towel in yet
[10:04:27] <TheMightyBuzzard> oh ya, i forgot...
[10:04:28] <TheMightyBuzzard> coffee++
[10:04:28] <Bender> karma - coffee: 2776
[10:04:31] <crutchy> ooh
[10:04:34] <crutchy> coffee++
[10:04:34] <Bender> karma - coffee: 2777
[10:04:37] <crutchy> bacon++
[10:04:37] <Bender> karma - bacon: 315
[10:05:23] <TheMightyBuzzard> well shit. no news overnight worth reading.
[10:05:39] * Subsentient pukes down TheMightyBuzzard 's throat
[10:06:42] * TheMightyBuzzard kicks Subsentient in the testicular region
[10:06:55] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - DOJ to Require Changes to Music Royalty Collection - http://sylnt.us - didn't-see-THAT-one-coming
[10:07:04] * Subsentient ejaculates boiling peanut butter
[10:07:54] <boru> You should see a doctor about that.
[10:09:07] <Subsentient> lol
[10:09:09] <Subsentient> I love this channel
[10:09:45] <TheMightyBuzzard> i love bewbs
[10:09:49] <TheMightyBuzzard> bewbs++
[10:09:49] <Bender> karma - bewbs: 62
[10:10:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> go drugs go. coffee not gonna cut it this AM
[10:12:25] <TheMightyBuzzard> #weather
[10:12:25] <MrPlow> Today: Mostly sunny. Hot and humid. High 97F. Winds WSW at 5 to 10 mph. Tomorrow: Partly cloudy in the morning followed by scattered thunderstorms in the afternoon. High 88F. Winds NNW at 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 60%.
[10:12:32] <TheMightyBuzzard> ugh
[10:18:19] <TheMightyBuzzard> php is almost as bad as C++. java is superior to both.
[10:19:13] <boru> They're all bad.
[10:19:50] <TheMightyBuzzard> guess i needa step up my trolling this morning
[10:21:04] * boru chuckles.
[10:23:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> ~macro ~dieinafire * internal ~quit
[10:23:49] <exec> 02 *** not authorized
[10:23:52] <TheMightyBuzzard> bah
[10:24:01] <TheMightyBuzzard> that was a perfectly good macro
[10:45:20] <TheMightyBuzzard> #quit
[10:45:20] <MrPlow> Your wish is my command...
[10:45:20] -!- MrPlow has quit [Quit: Powered by Rust.]
[10:45:32] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[10:45:46] <TheMightyBuzzard> #pissoff
[10:45:46] <MrPlow> Off I shall piss...
[10:45:46] -!- MrPlow has quit [Client Quit]
[10:45:51] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[10:46:02] <TheMightyBuzzard> #dieinafire
[10:46:02] * MrPlow dies a firey death
[10:46:02] -!- MrPlow has quit [Client Quit]
[10:46:07] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[10:46:17] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #editorial
[10:46:21] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #test
[10:46:32] * TheMightyBuzzard pats MrPlow on da head
[10:48:54] <TheMightyBuzzard> smoke break
[10:48:55] <TheMightyBuzzard> nicotine++
[10:48:55] <Bender> karma - nicotine: 105
[11:01:16] <crutchy> ~bewbs
[11:01:18] <exec> 00,04(00,07o00,08 00,09Y00,12 00,02o00,06)
[11:02:37] <boru> It'd look better, at least in my terminal, if it were foreground colours rather than background colours.
[11:04:17] * TheMightyBuzzard strips colors
[11:20:31] <CoolHand> I don't think bewb2 should be different colors from each other either... that's not right..
[11:20:41] <CoolHand> at least in my experience..
[11:21:18] <boru> I think you should pay homage to Total Recall and have three of them.
[11:26:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> (o Y o Y o)
[11:30:24] <xhedit> they're just vitiligo bewbs
[11:36:12] <crutchy> from mars
[11:43:17] * cmn32480 thinks he likes this conversation first thign in the morning
[11:44:13] <cmn32480> ~gday TheMightyBuzzard
[11:44:15] * exec covertly heaps cream of pyjama time on TheMightyBuzzard
[11:44:24] <TheMightyBuzzard> ~gday cmn32480
[11:44:26] * exec single-candidly hucks a fart hole of null terminators at cmn32480
[11:44:41] <cmn32480> you win
[11:44:46] <TheMightyBuzzard> well yers is useful but mine means sleep
[11:44:57] <cmn32480> like I said....
[11:48:34] <TheMightyBuzzard> #pissoff
[11:48:34] <MrPlow> Off I shall piss...
[11:48:34] -!- MrPlow has quit [Quit: Powered by Rust.]
[11:48:46] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[11:48:55] <TheMightyBuzzard> #sammich
[11:48:55] * MrPlow whips up a unicorns and rainbows sammich for TheMightyBuzzard
[11:49:02] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #editorial
[11:49:05] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #test
[11:49:29] <TheMightyBuzzard> think i got #sammich with an argument working
[11:49:39] <cmn32480> #sammich your mom
[11:49:39] * MrPlow whips up a grilled cheese sammich for cmn32480
[11:49:46] <cmn32480> nope
[11:49:54] <TheMightyBuzzard> has to be a valid person in channel
[11:50:05] <cmn32480> #sammich exec
[11:50:05] * MrPlow whips up a bacon sammich for cmn32480
[11:50:10] <cmn32480> nope
[11:50:10] <TheMightyBuzzard> newp
[11:50:18] <TheMightyBuzzard> ah well, back to the drawing board
[11:50:22] <crutchy> ~rps s
[11:50:23] <TheMightyBuzzard> oh hell, i know what i did
[11:50:24] <exec> rank for crutchy: 1 - http://ix.io
[11:51:34] <cmn32480> ~rps s
[11:51:34] <TheMightyBuzzard> #pissoff
[11:51:34] <MrPlow> Off I shall piss...
[11:51:34] -!- MrPlow has quit [Client Quit]
[11:51:36] <exec> rank for cmn32480: 15 - http://ix.io
[11:51:47] <cmn32480> ~rps qqqqq
[11:51:48] <exec> syntax: ~rps [ranks|r|p|s]
[11:51:48] <exec> rankings: http://ix.io
[11:51:49] <exec> help: http://wiki.soylentnews.org
[11:52:01] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[11:52:11] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #editorial
[11:52:14] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #test
[11:52:20] <TheMightyBuzzard> should be okay now
[11:52:21] <cmn32480> ~funding
[11:52:31] <cmn32480> #sammich exec
[11:52:31] * MrPlow whips up a lesbian sammich for cmn32480
[11:52:38] <cmn32480> nope
[11:52:40] * TheMightyBuzzard scratches his head
[11:52:54] * cmn32480 scratches TheMightyBuzzard' head
[11:53:34] <TheMightyBuzzard> #smake TheMightyBuzzard
[11:53:34] * MrPlow smakes TheMightyBuzzard upside the head with problematic glasses
[11:53:41] <TheMightyBuzzard> was missing a space
[11:53:58] <cmn32480> #sammich exec
[11:53:58] * MrPlow whips up a open-faced ciri poo sammich for cmn32480
[11:54:08] <cmn32480> #sammich exec
[11:54:08] * MrPlow whips up a variable speed potatoe masher sammich for cmn32480
[11:54:14] <cmn32480> nope
[11:54:59] <TheMightyBuzzard> haven't reloaded him yet =P
[11:55:15] <TheMightyBuzzard> #pissoff
[11:55:15] <MrPlow> Off I shall piss...
[11:55:15] -!- MrPlow has quit [Client Quit]
[11:55:23] -!- MrPlow [MrPlow!MrPlow@nsa.gov] has joined #Soylent
[11:55:32] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #editorial
[11:55:36] <TheMightyBuzzard> #join #test
[11:55:42] <cmn32480> #sammich exec
[11:55:42] * MrPlow sneaks up behind exec and cuts their throat
[11:55:42] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced exec's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[11:55:43] * TheMightyBuzzard glares at mrcoolbp
[11:56:02] <cmn32480> hmmmm
[11:56:09] <TheMightyBuzzard> thar, happy?
[11:56:09] <cmn32480> not exactly what I was looking for
[11:56:23] <cmn32480> #sammich TheMightyBuzzard
[11:56:23] * MrPlow sneaks up behind TheMightyBuzzard and cuts their throat
[11:56:23] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced TheMightyBuzzard's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[11:56:35] * TheMightyBuzzard dies
[11:56:57] <cmn32480> but far more hilarious then expected
[11:56:58] <boru> I grok you, water brother.
[11:57:05] <cmn32480> #sammich
[11:57:05] * MrPlow whips up a peanut butter and gerbil sammich for cmn32480
[11:57:31] <boru> I will be disappointed if no one gets the reference.
[11:57:52] <boru> For shame.
[11:58:31] <cmn32480> I know it.. but have never read stranger in a strange land
[11:58:52] <boru> Shame on you!
[11:58:53] * TheMightyBuzzard prefers tmiahm
[11:59:08] <cmn32480> it isn't my fault!
[11:59:11] <TheMightyBuzzard> speaking of, it's about time for my yearly reread
[11:59:11] <cmn32480> ~blame
[11:59:13] * exec points at Bytram
[11:59:17] <cmn32480> SEE???????
[11:59:25] <boru> Preference for TMIAHM is adequate.
[12:00:30] <boru> I approve of yearly re-reads, though.
[12:00:40] <boru> I'm working my way through PKD at the moment.
[12:00:48] <boru> Hyperion Cantos is next.
[12:01:01] <boru> Then The Forever War, then...
[12:01:17] <cmn32480> Turns out.. when you try to update a Windows 8.1 handheld from Honeywell and it fails... aLL THAT COMES UP ON THE SCREEN IS
[12:01:19] <cmn32480> :(
[12:01:36] <boru> That about summarises my experience with windows.
[12:01:49] <cmn32480> it's rather funny actually
[12:01:53] <boru> ":( sorry for installing windows"
[12:01:55] <TheMightyBuzzard> it's necessary. every now n then you get confused and start thinking you know better than others how to run their lives. tmiahm puts you back on the right track.
[12:03:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> smoke break
[12:03:48] <TheMightyBuzzard> nicotine++
[12:03:48] <Bender> karma - nicotine: 106
[12:08:28] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Cray Profits Literally Go Up in Smoke After Electrical Incident - http://sylnt.us - boil-the-crustacean-next-time
[12:22:28] * cmn32480 decides to reach out and punch someone
[12:24:41] <TheMightyBuzzard> sweet, xbox one controller works under linux if i plug it in
[13:12:26] -!- n1 [n1!~n1@Soylent/Staff/Editor/n1] has joined #Soylent
[13:12:26] -!- mode/#Soylent [+v n1] by Aphrodite
[13:12:35] <Naze> nicotine++
[13:12:35] <Bender> karma - nicotine: 107
[13:14:56] <n1> anyone got any ideas on why the trump hating media can't be bothered with the Melania Trump immigration story so far?
[13:15:56] <boru> The world has had a sudden outbreak of common sense and realised the banality of politics.
[13:16:43] <n1> until next week
[13:17:09] <n1> also, you say that, but the top story on the bbc today....
[13:17:16] <n1> "US First Daughter Sasha Obama serves seafood in summer job"
[13:21:23] <boru> I'm not interested in current affairs or socio-political silliness, so I tend to avoid those news sources.
[13:22:00] <AndyTheAbsurd> hmm...I got redirected from bbc.co.uk to bbc.com where the top story is "Rio set for Olympics opening ceremony"
[13:22:43] <AndyTheAbsurd> The S. Obama story is one of the four stories on the other half of the top row, though.
[13:23:58] <AndyTheAbsurd> There's also a story about cricket (sport not insect) and Trump telling lies (how can I tell he's lying? His lips are moving.)
[13:25:46] <boru> They must be going to make massive redundancies after November, since they'll have nothing important to report on.
[13:26:02] <boru> Perhaps POTUS' tweets or latest haircut on facebook.
[13:26:13] <boru> That seems to be the level of 'journalism' these days.
[13:26:14] -!- weeds_ [weeds_!~42c02ea2@01-732-05-876.static.twtelecom.net] has joined #Soylent
[13:26:25] <boru> It is pathetic.
[13:27:40] <AndyTheAbsurd> hi weeds_
[13:29:17] <weeds_> ~gday AndyTheAbsurd
[13:29:19] * exec inadequately generates a small script that substitutes an F cup of nerd-celebrity nudes for AndyTheAbsurd
[13:39:36] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Zeus Panda Goes To The Olympics - http://sylnt.us - worse-than-sexual-harassment-panda
[13:44:54] -!- weeds_ has quit []
[13:46:31] <cmn32480> ~gday andy
[13:46:33] * exec casually hucks an anvil of gold coins at andy
[13:46:33] <cmn32480> ~gday AndyTheAbsurd
[13:46:35] * exec spontaneously drops a powerpoint presentation of 🐂💩 on AndyTheAbsurd
[13:46:47] <cmn32480> you look hungry... have a sammich
[13:46:54] <cmn32480> #sammich AndyTheAbsurd
[13:46:54] * MrPlow sneaks up behind AndyTheAbsurd and cuts their throat
[13:46:54] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced AndyTheAbsurd's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[13:47:56] -!- weeds has quit [Ping timeout: 240 seconds]
[13:49:05] -!- weeds [weeds!~42c02ea2@01-732-05-876.static.twtelecom.net] has joined #Soylent
[13:49:36] <weeds> found and killed weeds thanks Juggs
[13:51:59] -!- crutchy has quit [Quit: Leaving]
[13:57:09] <cmn32480> Juggs - the Roundup of IRC
[14:04:38] <n1> juggs is owned by monsanto?
[14:05:11] <cmn32480> i prefer surgically modified juggs to genetically modified juggs
[14:05:25] <Subsentient> lol
[14:05:40] <Subsentient> I prefer the genetically modified juggs, no silicon.
[14:07:19] <cmn32480> saline feels far mor natural
[14:07:38] <cmn32480> but, like anything else, there are risks...
[14:08:22] <boru> May as well go for germanium, though the process may carbonise the subject.
[14:10:51] <cmn32480> it worked for Han Solo
[14:14:47] <weeds> All conversations eventually end up at Juggs
[14:15:03] <cmn32480> as they ought to
[14:15:07] <cmn32480> ~bewbs
[14:15:09] <exec> 00,08(00,09o00,12 00,02Y00,06 00,04o00,07)
[14:18:00] <Runaway1956> Damn. I knew I forgot something.
[14:18:16] <cmn32480> have a sammic... it'll help
[14:18:24] <cmn32480> #sammich Runaway1956
[14:18:24] * MrPlow sneaks up behind Runaway1956 and cuts their throat
[14:18:24] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced Runaway1956's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[14:18:38] <Runaway1956> It's August, and I'm still running on winter air in my tires.
[14:19:23] <Runaway1956> Now the fucking bot is letting all MY air out!
[14:20:19] * Runaway1956 had an idea last night at work
[14:20:34] * cmn32480 looks out for lightening
[14:20:36] * Runaway1956 can troll he-who-shall-not-be-named
[14:20:43] <cmn32480> Voldemort?
[14:20:58] <Runaway1956> When he shows up, I'll ask him how many ohms it takes to electrocute a person
[14:21:13] <cmn32480> yer a fink dude
[14:21:17] <Runaway1956> I reckon I could make him come unglued pretty quickly with a few stupid remarks
[14:22:01] <Runaway1956> And, I'm also cracking up over the Magic Smoke auction - I had to link to it in the article about profits going up in smoke.
[14:22:14] <Runaway1956> http://www3.telus.net
[14:22:14] <systemd> ^ 03Lucas Replacement Smoke Kit
[14:25:35] <weeds> ... Then I says to the salesman, "Tell them we'll do a proof of concept, first" and he says to the customer, "THe best way to go abouthis is to do a pilot to a couple of the offices."
[14:27:38] <AndyTheAbsurd> ugh, salespeople.
[14:28:09] <Runaway1956> Thank God for salespeople. If there weren't sales jobs, they'd all become lawyers.
[14:28:48] <AndyTheAbsurd> (note that I usually leave "sales" out of that statement. But salespeople always seem to do their best to drag my opinion of humanity to the lowest depths possible.)
[14:30:32] * Runaway1956 wonders if Sonia is the famous Gandhi's granddaughter or something http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com
[14:30:38] <systemd> ^ 03Sonia Gandhi recovering after shoulder operation - Times of India
[14:31:25] <AndyTheAbsurd> nope
[14:32:13] <AndyTheAbsurd> related by marriage I think
[14:32:27] <Runaway1956> And, here, we learn that a kindergarden kid's succes with math hinges on the length of his daddy's organ - https://www.sciencedaily.com
[14:33:13] <AndyTheAbsurd> no, according to wikipedia, the Gandhi family that's active in Indian politics is not related to Mahatma Gandhi.
[14:33:45] <Runaway1956> Ahh, that's a shame. I was trying to think up some jokes on the subject, and getting nowhere.
[14:34:18] <weeds> that's doen't explain why my daughter is doing well in math... Unless... Dear, I have a question for you...
[14:34:43] <Runaway1956> LMAO - you didn't know the milkman is hung?
[14:35:06] <weeds> Dammit
[14:35:15] <Runaway1956> It's a prerequisite of the job.
[14:40:43] <Runaway1956> Best propaganda title I've seen in quite some time: http://www.pravdareport.com
[14:40:50] <systemd> ^ 03Western Anaconda strangles Russia. Can Russia kill the snake? - PravdaReport
[14:41:45] <cmn32480> What can Brown do for you?
[14:42:23] <Runaway1956> A little brown relieves that feeling of constipation?
[14:43:22] <cmn32480> there a a bunch of adult movies based on the premise of the delivery guy....
[14:44:28] <Runaway1956> Delivery guy delivers babies, right? Pops them in the oven, all you gotta do is wait for them to bake.
[14:44:38] <Runaway1956> Take 'em out to early, they're overly pale.
[14:44:52] <Runaway1956> leave 'em in to long, they look like Ethanol Fueled.
[14:48:44] <Runaway1956> Have you ordered your wife a burkini?
[14:48:49] <Runaway1956> http://www.ebay.com
[14:48:51] <systemd> ^ 03Muslim Women Full Cover Burkini Swimsuit Islamic Beachwea Swimwear Costume | eBay
[15:01:57] <paulej72> blurd
[15:02:24] <cmn32480> wasn't he the mall cop?
[15:16:53] <paulej72> mall time cop
[15:38:21] <cmn32480> I just told the most common lie... "Yes I read and understand the EULA"
[15:41:09] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Mastercard Armours its Contactless Cards Against Relay Attacks - http://sylnt.us - they-gave-it-a-tinfoil-hat
[15:59:32] -!- Sheckelstein [Sheckelstein!~62b0c8c6@ka52-830-964-802.sd.sd.cox.net] has joined #Soylent
[15:59:51] <Sheckelstein> What a good morning it is.
[16:00:30] <Sheckelstein> The air is fresh, the birds are tweeting
[16:00:45] <Sheckelstein> The crisp scent of vegetation
[16:01:06] <Sheckelstein> And no Blacks shuckin' and jivin' in the alley today.
[16:01:30] <Sheckelstein> My neighbor's punk-ass barky mini-Schnauzer is shutting the fuck up
[16:01:49] <Sheckelstein> That fucking dog, seriously...if I ever get ahold of it I'm going to pepper its asshole with tobasco sauce.
[16:02:20] <boru> Have you considered a blog?
[16:03:12] <Runaway1956> EF, and dog's assholes?
[16:04:06] <Sheckelstein> boru, blogs are for homos.
[16:04:24] <Sheckelstein> Runaway, only that dog.
[16:04:28] <Runaway1956> Mastercard promises security for it's non-secure cards . . . .
[16:04:30] <Sheckelstein> Other dogs are cool dudes.
[16:05:23] <cmn32480> heheh Dicks Sporting goods is doing a flash sale....
[16:05:27] <Runaway1956> In related news, Zeus Panda already owns Mastercard
[16:05:32] * cmn32480 wonders if that includes trenchcoats
[16:05:35] <Sheckelstein> damn, CMN, that sounds nice.
[16:05:44] <xhedit> no one uses the term homos any more man. call them fags like a proper gentleman
[16:06:00] <Sheckelstein> blogs are for fags and women.
[16:06:08] <xhedit> thank you
[16:06:12] <Sheckelstein> real men shitpost instead of blog.
[16:07:33] <Runaway1956> The first time I heard/read the term "blog", I wondered if it were similar to deep throat
[16:09:04] <Runaway1956> Flesh sale?
[16:09:15] * Sheckelstein wishes he had sheckels for sporting goods
[16:09:36] <Sheckelstein> Since I got fired from Boston Dynamics my sheckel supplies are dwindling.
[16:09:43] <Sheckelstein> Although I'm suing them and hopeful I'll win.
[16:09:54] <Runaway1956> Shekels are the root of all roots
[16:09:58] <Sheckelstein> Big businesses almost always settle rather than battle nowadays.
[16:11:29] * Runaway1956 thinks about mounting the computer in the bathroom where I can soak in cool water all day
[16:11:55] * Runaway1956 works nights partly because the plant is cooler at night
[16:12:22] <Runaway1956> last night, the temperature finally dropped to 90 degrees, about 6:30
[16:12:31] <Sheckelstein> There's a restaurant/bar in El Centro that has small flatscreen TVs in front of every urinal in the mens bathroom
[16:12:34] <Runaway1956> err, this morning, actually
[16:12:44] <Sheckelstein> Now that's fucking luxury. Not a single play in the big game is missed.
[16:13:21] <Runaway1956> Why is El Centro not in the very middle of the state? The Center - where else should it be?
[16:13:39] <Sheckelstein> It is the center, all right...the epicenter of California;s asshole
[16:14:01] * Runaway1956 thought California was America's asshole
[16:14:09] <Sheckelstein> Pretty much.
[16:14:21] <Sheckelstein> So much potential down the drain with Spics, Fags, and Jews
[16:14:56] <Runaway1956> On another forum, they're saying that if they could only get rid of the fucking white people, California would be paradise
[16:16:11] <Sheckelstein> If they get rid of Whites, the state will collapse in on itself and be worse than Mississippi.
[16:16:24] <Sheckelstein> Hell, it's looking to collapse anyway
[16:16:30] <Runaway1956> Nahhh, all those liberals can't be wrong, can they?
[16:16:32] <cmn32480> hmmmmmm firefox taking 3GB of memory.. yeah.. I shoudl probably kill that
[16:16:49] <Sheckelstein> cmn, how many flash porn tabs do you have open?
[16:17:00] <cmn32480> 37
[16:17:12] <Sheckelstein> You must have a really strong dominant arm
[16:17:30] <xhedit> turn off flash and use html5 video sites and you can have over a 100 tabs of porn open
[16:17:33] <Runaway1956> my firefox is using 4.13% of my 24 gig - I suppose that's alright
[16:18:03] * Runaway1956 thinks that's a little over a gig, to tired to do any math
[16:18:30] <Sheckelstein> Is there a Windows computer in existance that can browse Last Resort unprotected and not crash?
[16:18:57] <Sheckelstein> Y-you all know what Last Resort is, r-right?
[16:19:24] <Runaway1956> no, what is Last Resort?
[16:19:53] <Sheckelstein> It was a shock site that pranksters resirected to for laughs
[16:20:12] <Runaway1956> Ehhh, like goat.se??
[16:20:23] <cmn32480> #submit https://www.allflicks.net
[16:20:24] <MrPlow> Unable to find a summary for that page
[16:20:25] <Sheckelstein> it used javascript to open 50 million new windows of gore, porn, and played an audio clip that said, "I'm looking at gay porn" over and over again
[16:20:33] <cmn32480> ~submit https://www.allflicks.net
[16:20:35] <exec> error: description meta content not found or empty
[16:20:42] <Sheckelstein> if goatse was a knife, last resort would be a nuclear bomb
[16:20:46] <cmn32480> stoopid bots
[16:21:07] <Runaway1956> You gotta send them bots to school
[16:21:19] <Sheckelstein> back in the day when it was popular, if you got hit, it would lock your computer up so bad the only way out was a hard reset
[16:22:16] * Runaway1956 remembers being Rickrolled, and a couple other nastier incidents
[16:22:43] * Runaway1956 learned to lock down his browser, to use HOSTS, and investigate NoScript
[16:22:59] <Sheckelstein> Last resort was popular before noscript
[16:23:11] <Sheckelstein> and, although you could disable javascript in your browser, nobody did.
[16:25:28] <cmn32480> ~submit http://www.allflicks.net
[16:25:30] <exec> error: description meta content not found or empty
[16:25:39] <cmn32480> #submit http://www.allflicks.net
[16:25:39] <MrPlow> Unable to find a title for that page
[16:26:01] <Runaway1956> Pence promises to be Trump's straight man
[16:26:05] <Runaway1956> http://www.cnn.com
[16:26:11] <systemd> ^ 0311-year-old puts Mike Pence on the spot with question - CNNPolitics.com
[16:26:27] <Runaway1956> The kid is a funny looking little runt
[16:26:43] <Runaway1956> WTF is an eleven year old doing at a political rally?
[16:27:00] <cmn32480> stumping the VP candidate for the republicans obviously
[16:29:08] <Sheckelstein> Pence was a shit pick
[16:29:16] <Sheckelstein> What Trump needed was a moderate.
[16:29:20] <Runaway1956> His daddy needs to take him camping, so he can learn the important things in life
[16:29:25] <Runaway1956> https://i.imgur.com
[16:29:27] <Sheckelstein> It would have been cool to see Trump team up with Sanders or Webb
[16:30:13] <Runaway1956> Webb? Wasn't ne a detective or something?
[16:30:28] <xhedit> Webb - I killed a man
[16:30:51] <Sheckelstein> Jack Webb was Joe Friday
[16:31:05] <Sheckelstein> One of the coolest motherfuckers around
[16:31:11] <Sheckelstein> Joe_Friday++
[16:31:11] <Bender> karma - joe_friday: 1
[16:31:14] <Runaway1956> Yeah, that's the guy - Joe Friday
[16:31:47] <Runaway1956> Joe wasn't Hindu, was he? would he want karma?
[16:32:01] <Sheckelstein> Joe Friday doesn't need karma
[16:32:18] <Runaway1956> Joe Friday could kick Chuck Norris' ass
[16:32:21] * n1 looks up Mike Pence on wikipedia... " Pence called himself "Rush Limbaugh on decaf" "
[16:32:29] <Sheckelstein> That episode where he busts the nazis plotting to blow up a Black elementary school with dynamite was badass.
[16:32:56] <Runaway1956> Blacks send their elementaries to school?
[16:33:16] <Sheckelstein> They did back before Jews introduced rap music and ghetto culture, Runaway
[16:33:38] <xhedit> nice
[16:33:39] * Runaway1956 looks into schooling for his elementals
[16:33:47] <Sheckelstein> It is fact - Blacks were way more educated and prosperous back in the day before they were coopted by liberal(read: Jewish) interests
[16:34:17] <xhedit> what's your opinion on jewish neoconservatives?
[16:34:24] <Sheckelstein> xhedit: Pure cancer.
[16:34:39] <Sheckelstein> By far my most hated minority.
[16:34:55] <Sheckelstein> And the single-handed cause of America's and Europe's downfall.
[16:35:02] <Runaway1956> everyone needs a hated minority
[16:35:10] * Runaway1956 prefers to hate the majorities
[16:35:53] <Sheckelstein> I hate that the majorities are so easily manipulated by minorities
[16:36:05] <Sheckelstein> whether ir be mass-media programming or pro-refugee sentiment
[16:36:51] <Sheckelstein> Yeah, let's let in millions of unvetted male islamic savages of military age who abandoned their familes to violent deaths! What could possibly go wrong?
[16:37:29] <Runaway1956> No sir! Make it tens of millions, and we have a deal!
[16:37:39] <Sheckelstein> If I told you that you should let me punch you in the face because you're a racist if you don't, would you let me? Europe sure would.
[16:38:07] <Runaway1956> We've already allowed them to emasculate us.
[16:38:08] <n1> the pro-refugee sentiment isn't a very good example of mass-media programming
[16:38:21] <xhedit> that's because europe is full of the bad kind of liberals
[16:38:25] <Sheckelstein> n1, I was suggesting it as an alternative method of programming
[16:38:34] <Sheckelstein> But the two are somewhat related.
[16:38:54] * Runaway1956 considers shower and bed . . . .
[16:39:07] <Sheckelstein> pro-refugee sentiment isn't itself a bad thing, just that Europe is being really stupid about it.
[16:39:20] <cmn32480> ~gnight Runaway1956
[16:39:22] * exec $adverb flicks a used franger of Johnny Moo Milk Drops at Runaway1956
[16:39:25] <Sheckelstein> later bro
[16:39:58] <Sheckelstein> There's letting in innocent families fleeing violence and persecution, and there's opening the floodgates to hordes of filthy savage barbarians.
[16:40:06] <n1> the citizens of europe don't have much choice
[16:40:22] * Runaway1956 leaves a box of Milk Duds on Gravis chair
[16:40:30] <Sheckelstein> They don't, n1, because that is a deliberate plan to weaken Europe.
[16:40:39] <n1> but the EU is not going to miss out on an opportunity to step up security services internally
[16:40:44] <n1> and they're getting new reasons every day
[16:40:51] <Sheckelstein> Baraq Hussein Soetoro is attempting the same with the US, just being more silent about it.
[16:41:31] <n1> weaken europe and the us for what purpose?
[16:42:25] <Sheckelstein> n1, because Europe started to present a threat to American gegemony
[16:42:28] <Sheckelstein> hegemony^
[16:45:25] -!- Sheckelstein has quit [Quit: Web client closed]
[16:45:47] <n1> europe as a threat to american hegemony is a new one to me...
[17:12:18] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Apple Says It's Mended the Pay Gap for Women and Minorities - http://sylnt.us - they-are-just-holding-the-numbers-wrong
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[17:39:27] <SlantEyedYellow> ~weather san diego, ca
[17:39:29] <exec> 10San Diego, CA, USA - currently 72°F / 22°C, cloudy, wind SW at 11 mph, humidity 74% - Friday partly cloudy (68°F:76°F / 20°C:24°C), Saturday partly cloudy (66°F:74°F / 19°C:23°C), Sunday partly cloudy (66°F:74°F / 19°C:23°C), Monday sunny (66°F:76°F / 19°C:24°C)
[17:39:42] <SlantEyedYellow> Not too bad.
[17:41:16] * SlantEyedYellow is spending Friday broke and sitting around waiting to get drunk
[17:50:33] -!- SlantEyedYellow has quit [Quit: Web client closed]
[18:27:23] <cmn32480> is it nap time yet?
[18:29:59] -!- xuser [xuser!~xachet@108.61.pti.huj] has joined #Soylent
[19:13:50] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Disney Mix Messaging - http://sylnt.us - cooler-texting
[19:33:07] -!- Naze has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
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[19:54:23] <SirFinkus> just ordered speakers for my cab, no returns, so sure hope they aren't shitty
[19:54:34] <SlantEyedYellow> Brand and model?
[19:54:53] <SirFinkus> celestion 70 80
[19:54:56] <SlantEyedYellow> the SN stats link above is hilarious, by the way - Thanks, Juggs!
[19:55:20] <SlantEyedYellow> They probably won't be shitty then.
[19:55:43] <SirFinkus> reviews are either 5 stars, or one stars
[19:56:47] <SirFinkus> figured I couldn't go wrong for $30 though, as long as they work
[19:57:57] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, freq response looks a little upper-midrangey, but having more range in general is nice for effects
[19:58:25] <SlantEyedYellow> Plus you can tell everybody that they're Celestions
[19:58:38] <SirFinkus> the neighbors are gonna hate me
[19:58:41] <SlantEyedYellow> "the Brand AC/DC uses!"
[19:59:15] <SlantEyedYellow> Fuck the neighbors
[19:59:34] <SirFinkus> I bought the rattiest looking cabinet ever, so nobody would buy that
[19:59:43] <cmn32480> f**k this
[19:59:49] <cmn32480> I'm going home.
[19:59:55] <cmn32480> ~gnight #soylent
[19:59:57] * exec literally violates a teaspoon of coke with #soylent
[19:59:59] <SlantEyedYellow> whats wrong cmn?
[20:00:07] <cmn32480> #sammich SlantEyedYellow
[20:00:07] * MrPlow sneaks up behind SlantEyedYellow and cuts their throat
[20:00:07] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced SlantEyedYellow's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[20:00:08] <SlantEyedYellow> ratty cabinets are awesome
[20:00:26] <cmn32480> just been a long week and my aptience has run out!
[20:00:53] <cmn32480> so I'ma go get gas.. go take my pee test for some stupid job I'm going on then going home to have a couple beers
[20:00:58] <SirFinkus> if I get some nice speakers eventually and I get robbed, hopefully they'll decide the cabinet isn't worth the effort
[20:01:15] <SlantEyedYellow> Noice.
[20:01:32] <SlantEyedYellow> cmn, I'm looking for work as well, being off the pot sucks
[20:01:44] <SlantEyedYellow> had two interviews last week and have two more on Monday
[20:02:04] <SirFinkus> pretend you don't speak english and try to get the people at the testing place to explain it to you with hand gestures
[20:02:09] <SirFinkus> then shit in the cup
[20:02:20] <SlantEyedYellow> One of my last-week interviews was for a security clearance job. I doubt I'll pass. Those fuckers go into medical records and everything.
[20:02:20] <SirFinkus> or jack off in it
[20:02:45] <SlantEyedYellow> hahah@ fink...the piss tech will flag you for stalling unless you can jack off in a minute or less.
[20:03:23] <SirFinkus> I dunno, I'm pretty good at jacking off
[20:04:09] <SirFinkus> or if he's in there like 10 minutes, maybe they'll send someone in to check on him
[20:04:49] <SlantEyedYellow> It would be awesome if you got away with it though, you'd probably explode the GC/MS or gum it up or something.
[20:04:49] <SlantEyedYellow> in my experience, Fink, the tech hides out by the door and listens
[20:05:18] <SirFinkus> perfect, loud grunting
[20:05:39] <SlantEyedYellow> Hahahaha
[20:05:46] <SirFinkus> and obvious masturbation noises
[20:05:55] <SlantEyedYellow> Pissing on the floor would be pretty cool
[20:06:17] <SlantEyedYellow> You could do just enough to where you can say it wasn't deliberate, but enough to be a filthy slob
[20:06:29] <SirFinkus> never had to take a piss test, but fuck em, none of their business what I do in my off time
[20:06:44] <SlantEyedYellow> Right. Can you show up on time and do what they want you to do?
[20:07:14] <SirFinkus> very few exceptions, like pilots etc
[20:07:35] <SirFinkus> which people always bring up when most of the people getting tested are working at a walmart
[20:07:44] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, that's bullshit.
[20:08:02] <SlantEyedYellow> I went in drink and/or high a lot working retail, and it didn't affect shit.
[20:08:05] <SlantEyedYellow> made the job more fun, actually.
[20:10:35] <SirFinkus> I've heard people going for better jobs have had success just asking inconvenient questions about the proceedure
[20:10:56] <SlantEyedYellow> What do you mean?
[20:11:09] <SirFinkus> "who is this information shared with" "what recourse do I have if there is a false positive" etc
[20:11:23] <SirFinkus> wouldn't work for retail stuff
[20:11:33] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, that is a big fucking deal.
[20:11:43] <SlantEyedYellow> I actually had a false positive on a drug-test once, believe it or not.
[20:11:51] <SirFinkus> I believe it
[20:12:10] <SlantEyedYellow> and it was for a place I had previously worked for, and at a time I was hurting for money. Fucking sucked.
[20:12:12] <SirFinkus> the idea is to get the HR guy off his script
[20:12:26] <SirFinkus> suddenly he needs to ask his boss
[20:12:37] <SirFinkus> who wants to hire you
[20:12:57] <SlantEyedYellow> I still think that looks really bad, though. You don't want to elaborate anything you think may raise flags.
[20:13:19] <SirFinkus> yeah, I don't know if it actually works
[20:13:22] <SirFinkus> I like the approach though
[20:13:26] <xhedit> just skullfuck the HR drone. it shows dominance.
[20:13:36] <SlantEyedYellow> no homo xhedit
[20:13:51] <SirFinkus> "HERE'S YOUR PISS TEST" *whips out dick and pisses on hr drone's desk*
[20:13:53] <xhedit> HR is often ladies, but whatever.. it's only homo if you take it
[20:14:05] <SlantEyedYellow> !grab SirFinkus
[20:14:05] <Bender> Added quote 764
[20:14:07] <SirFinkus> the best approach
[20:14:09] <SlantEyedYellow> Hehehehehehhooooo
[20:14:41] <SlantEyedYellow> xhedit, most interviewing here is done by technician personnel, which women are not.
[20:14:43] <xhedit> the desk? piss on the HR
[20:14:54] <SlantEyedYellow> You only see the woman if you've fucked up or laid off
[20:15:13] <SirFinkus> better yet, piss in their coffee before hand and ask them if they tasted any drugs when the piss test comes up
[20:15:37] <SlantEyedYellow> Hahaha
[20:17:33] <xhedit> or just say WHOA WHOA when they mention a piss test and explain to them that you'll be smoking a lot of dope on the weekend and their polices are going to have to change
[20:18:02] <xhedit> policies
[20:18:32] <SlantEyedYellow> if only, xhedit
[20:18:57] <SlantEyedYellow> The second I get a full-time of two part-time jobs I'll be toking up
[20:19:00] <SirFinkus> it's just an example of how people lay down for authority
[20:19:05] <SirFinkus> it's just absurd
[20:19:17] <SirFinkus> "you've got the job, but we'll need some of your piss first"
[20:19:30] <xhedit> the only place i'll be pissing is in your mouth
[20:19:30] <SlantEyedYellow> If I get the clearance job I won't, but I won't last long there anyway with an interim clearance once they get the results of the investigation
[20:19:39] <xhedit> lmao
[20:19:46] <SirFinkus> take me to dinner first xhedit
[20:20:13] <SirFinkus> and find out you're part mexican?
[20:21:09] <SlantEyedYellow> and discover that I told my doctor that I toke up every day and drink like a fish, or that time I was detained and released for public intoxication, or that other time I was detained and released for public intoxication, or that time my blood was over 3% alcohol
[20:21:13] <xhedit> I don't want to fill out an sf86, that shit's been leaked
[20:21:38] <xhedit> 3% wow, i capped at 0.28
[20:21:58] <SirFinkus> that sounds like bullshit
[20:22:02] <xhedit> luckily my friends faked the info for some other guy and that incident is not in my name
[20:22:26] <SlantEyedYellow> It's probably better you don't believe me. Others have had like .4 and survived, so 3 is believable
[20:22:35] <SlantEyedYellow> my shits were colored bright-green the next day
[20:22:41] <SirFinkus> oh, .30%
[20:22:44] <SirFinkus> not 3%
[20:22:53] <SirFinkus> because you'd be dead long before 3%
[20:22:56] <xhedit> was amusing.. the hospital tested my blood and said. sir you tested positive for marijuana. maybe you should drunk less?
[20:23:28] <SirFinkus> the high score in my group is 0.35%,
[20:23:34] <SirFinkus> which was pretty hairy
[20:23:47] <SlantEyedYellow> .35 is basically comatose
[20:23:59] <xhedit> i remember a decent part of the .28 night.. i've been more drunk
[20:24:08] <SirFinkus> he started hendrixing, so had to call an ambulance
[20:24:14] <SlantEyedYellow> Hahaha Fink, that sucks ass
[20:24:20] <SlantEyedYellow> total buzzkill
[20:24:20] <SirFinkus> fucker didn't even have a hangover because they pumped him full of fluids
[20:24:32] <xhedit> yeah, that's the best part of iv hydration
[20:25:27] <SirFinkus> they have places in vegas that you pay $300 or so and they'll hook you up to an iv and cure your hangover
[20:27:09] <SlantEyedYellow> Nice.
[20:27:19] <SlantEyedYellow> I was wondering why I wasn't hung over after the bingiest binge of my life.
[20:29:49] <SirFinkus> kind of surprised they don't just sell them in kits
[20:30:07] <SirFinkus> probably too much liability
[20:30:19] <SirFinkus> or the drunks would just fill the IV bags with everclear or some stupid shit
[20:30:28] <xhedit> you really want drunk people stabbing their veins and bleeding out all over the place?
[20:31:00] <xhedit> even people whose job it is to hit veins all day still fuck up constantly
[20:31:28] <SlantEyedYellow> Or they somehow get an air bubble in their bloodstream and die from a clit
[20:31:46] <SlantEyedYellow> those little needles used to inflate worms for fishin' always scared the hell out of me.
[20:32:00] <SlantEyedYellow> ^die from a clot, not clit
[20:32:14] <xhedit> i am the clot commander?
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[20:45:00] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Almost Half of US Businesses hit by Ransomware, Says Study - http://sylnt.us - offsite-and-offline-backups-FTW
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[21:46:21] <cmn32480> SlantEyedYellow - not looking for work... the customer facility that I am going to requires background checks, drug tests, and some other shit for all contractors
[21:47:48] <SlantEyedYellow> Damn CMN, sounds like DOD/Gov shit
[21:48:21] <cmn32480> pharma
[21:48:44] <cmn32480> vaccine research or some shit
[21:50:47] <cmn32480> all I need to do is fix their wifi.... their internal people have made a shitstorm of it
[21:51:19] <SlantEyedYellow> Oh yeah, drug warehouses are heavily fortified as fuck
[21:51:28] * SlantEyedYellow did some training in one once.
[21:52:11] <cmn32480> it's invasive as hell... I'm actaully pissed (no pun intended) about it
[21:53:47] * cmn32480 needs a beeeeeeeerrrrrr
[21:54:14] <SlantEyedYellow> do you work for a firm or freelance? What I'm really asking is, does your career get fucked if you fail one of their piss-tests?
[21:55:07] <cmn32480> firm and no, I'll still be fine
[21:55:51] <cmn32480> so far as I know, there shoudln't be anythign in my bloodstream that'll make me fail
[21:55:53] <SlantEyedYellow> I recently interviewed for a job that I found out requires a SECRET
[21:56:15] <SlantEyedYellow> I think I'm going to respectfully decline if I get it and be honest about it.
[21:56:26] <cmn32480> good plan
[21:56:28] <SlantEyedYellow> I don't ever want to go through the burden of a clearance again.
[21:56:53] <cmn32480> it's a pain in the ass... but you can write your own ticket once you ahve that clearance
[21:57:36] <cmn32480> you do have to give up certain favorite passtimes though
[21:57:57] <SlantEyedYellow> It's creepy as fuck seeing people like DOD special angents there, flashing their badges and everything.
[21:58:10] <SlantEyedYellow> Counterintel posters on the walls, no humor, etc.
[21:58:40] <cmn32480> yep
[21:58:49] <cmn32480> I ahve a lotta friends who work on base
[21:59:05] <cmn32480> it's the way of the industry
[22:00:44] <cmn32480> this is the first time in the 10 years I been doing this typ work that I have had to get tested
[22:00:53] <SlantEyedYellow> That sucks
[22:00:55] <cmn32480> had to get one for my first job out of college... and never after that
[22:01:22] <SlantEyedYellow> Around here it always seems to be the public companies which do, but the private ones don't
[22:01:45] <cmn32480> public companies almost always do
[22:01:46] <SlantEyedYellow> I think it might be a requirement for government contracts though
[22:02:00] <cmn32480> most definetly
[22:02:26] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Hi EF, good to see you
[22:02:44] <SlantEyedYellow> Sup you sphyllitic Whitebread motherfucker!
[22:02:50] * SlantEyedYellow bumps dicks with subsentient
[22:03:07] <cmn32480> ~gday Subsentient
[22:03:09] * exec implicitly rubs an undersized chest of trauma on Subsentient
[22:03:16] <cmn32480> how goes?
[22:03:19] <SlantEyedYellow> It's time for drinking
[22:03:23] <Subsentient> Ah, I'll add it to my trauma collection.
[22:03:41] <Subsentient> I'm good, just woke up
[22:03:48] <Subsentient> enjoying my morning cancer sticks
[22:03:56] <cmn32480> at 3pm?
[22:03:59] <Subsentient> yup
[22:04:00] <cmn32480> must be nice
[22:04:07] <SlantEyedYellow> It's 4pm in AZ, ainttit?
[22:04:12] <Subsentient> $time MST
[22:04:12] <aqu4> Fri 2016-08-05 03:03:09 PM MST
[22:04:20] <cmn32480> damn...
[22:04:22] <cmn32480> was close
[22:04:25] <cmn32480> but the point is the same
[22:04:31] <SlantEyedYellow> Oh, I forgot that you're those weirdos who don't do daylight savings time, or something
[22:04:40] <Subsentient> yup
[22:04:47] <Subsentient> no DST in Arizona
[22:06:08] <cmn32480> so you are jsut getting up Subsentient?
[22:06:16] <Subsentient> yup
[22:06:28] <cmn32480> dear God... all your fucking talent is such a damn waste
[22:06:37] <Subsentient> Was on all night chatting with this girl. We really hit it off. Did not expect that.
[22:06:42] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, seriously. That bastard should be working for Intel
[22:06:56] <cmn32480> or canonical
[22:06:59] <cmn32480> or redhat
[22:07:02] <cmn32480> or MS
[22:07:09] <cmn32480> or google
[22:07:12] <cmn32480> or amazon
[22:07:16] <Subsentient> I want to work at Red Hat. They get a lot of hate, but I love Red Hat.
[22:07:21] <cmn32480> or the financial industry
[22:07:21] <SlantEyedYellow> I dunno, this guy named Mike told me that Canonical sucks
[22:07:32] <cmn32480> hehe
[22:07:33] <cmn32480> touce
[22:07:51] <cmn32480> touche, rather
[22:08:03] <Subsentient> Fuck Microsoft and Amazon. Ambivalent to Canonical. I don't like debian too much.
[22:08:18] <cmn32480> but you understand my point
[22:08:47] <Subsentient> smoked cat nipple jerky
[22:09:00] <cmn32480> you are DAMN smart... and a reasonable programmer
[22:09:19] <Subsentient> Thanks. I appreciate that sentiment.
[22:09:34] <SlantEyedYellow> I agree, there's some talent there.
[22:09:43] <cmn32480> you could be making good $$ doing what you are good at and seem to enjoy
[22:09:57] <cmn32480> but oh well
[22:10:04] <cmn32480> not really my place
[22:10:17] <cmn32480> says the guy who has been a little preachy
[22:10:37] * cmn32480 goes to flip dinner on the grill
[22:10:57] * SlantEyedYellow punches his wife in her grill
[22:11:08] <SlantEyedYellow> That a raw a fish! Japanese SHIT!
[22:12:29] * cmn32480 love some sushi
[22:12:40] <cmn32480> 'specially pink clams
[22:12:49] <SlantEyedYellow> sushi is really awesome. I'm partial to the ikura myself.
[22:13:00] <cmn32480> I like the simples
[22:13:03] <cmn32480> the tunas
[22:13:05] <SlantEyedYellow> I get a couple orders of it, pull them apart, and eat the salmon eggs one by one
[22:13:06] <cmn32480> salmon
[22:13:07] <Subsentient> Fish murderers.
[22:13:17] <cmn32480> yep
[22:13:19] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient, unlike rodents, fish have no souls
[22:13:28] <cmn32480> and they are super tasty
[22:13:29] <Subsentient> Fish murderers.
[22:14:39] * SlantEyedYellow finds a ladybug trapped in his apartment, releases it outside, and watches it fly right into a spiderweb
[22:15:14] * Subsentient hates this universe
[22:15:50] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient, it does suck. I had to call the cops on my mom when I was 11, because she was trying to kill herself. Then I had to watch her fight 2 cops.
[22:15:58] * cmn32480 is have big juicy burgers of cow for dinner
[22:16:00] <SlantEyedYellow> That was the last time I saw her...ever.
[22:16:09] <Bender> [SoylentNews] - Kindergarteners' Mathematics Success Hinges on Preschool Skills - http://sylnt.us - counting-on-maths
[22:16:36] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: :^(
[22:16:44] <SlantEyedYellow> But if you summon the will to stick your fist up life's quivering anus, twist it a little, and make it your bitch, the potential for rewards are enormous.
[22:16:58] <Subsentient> !grab SlantEyedYellow
[22:16:58] <Bender> Added quote 765
[22:17:40] * cmn32480 fries an egg to top his burger
[22:17:50] <SlantEyedYellow> Fuck yeah, egg-burgers are the best
[22:18:06] <SlantEyedYellow> over-easy, when the yolk is still runny and pops and soaks the bun
[22:18:21] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Ok, good or not, Dark Tranquillity?
[22:18:32] <cmn32480> hell yes
[22:18:52] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: https://www.youtube.com
[22:18:55] <SlantEyedYellow> Don;t know, Subsentient - I listen to the same 3 songs over and over again everytime I get drunk.
[22:18:58] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity - Lost To Apathy - YouTube
[22:19:35] <SlantEyedYellow> Hahaha, the youtube commervial for that is a Walmart commercial about American jobs featuring Aerosmith's "dream on"
[22:19:49] <Subsentient> Adblock.
[22:20:09] <SlantEyedYellow> Pretty good
[22:20:14] <SlantEyedYellow> You'd probably like Cradle of Filth
[22:20:14] <cmn32480> youtube has ads?
[22:20:51] <SlantEyedYellow> Huh. I ditched adblock long ago because I considered it redundant alongside noscript
[22:20:58] <SlantEyedYellow> Is it worth running the two at once?
[22:21:08] <cmn32480> i do
[22:21:09] <Subsentient> I run adblock in enforcing and noscript in permissive.
[22:21:20] <Subsentient> If something pisses me off, I blacklist it on noscript
[22:21:27] <cmn32480> noscript is a fantastic pain in the ass
[22:21:39] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, it is...and its only getting worse
[22:22:01] <cmn32480> yup yup
[22:23:27] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: https://www.youtube.com
[22:23:28] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity- Terminus - YouTube
[22:23:41] <Subsentient> Another good one is Indifferent Suns in that list
[22:24:21] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient, do you like Cradle of Filth?
[22:24:37] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Haven't heard them. Link?
[22:25:05] <SlantEyedYellow> Warning - this video will cause nightmares
[22:25:22] <SlantEyedYellow> https://www.youtube.com
[22:25:23] <systemd> ^ 03Cradle Of Filth - "From Cradle To Enslave" Uncensored - YouTube
[22:26:11] <SlantEyedYellow> There's a lot more keyboardey stuff, but the melodies and guitar stuff(when its prominent) are similar
[22:26:27] <SlantEyedYellow> Plus the video has MIDGETS
[22:26:38] <Subsentient> I love melodic death metal. Another good one is Omnium Gatherum
[22:28:29] <cmn32480> mmmmmm.... unborn chicken on dead cow....
[22:28:32] <cmn32480> with cheese
[22:30:18] * SlantEyedYellow has been living on beans and wine the past month
[22:31:30] <SlantEyedYellow> Well, that's not really true, on weekends I get microwave lasagnas or gigolo myself to a lady friend who sends me home with haute cuisine
[22:31:30] <SlantEyedYellow> I am actually prostituting myself for money, under the cover of "handyman" work
[22:32:00] <cmn32480> sounds like a porno
[22:32:38] <SlantEyedYellow> But its somebody I know and she cooks me homemade pesto salmon, pepper steak, grilled zuchini, handmade salads, hand-mashed idaho red potatoes, all using fresh-bough hand-cut herbs
[22:32:53] <cmn32480> when you open you tool bag is it full of extenders?
[22:33:05] <SlantEyedYellow> cmn, she has one at her place, just for me ;)
[22:33:13] <cmn32480> noice
[22:35:21] <SlantEyedYellow> It's thirsty work though. A few weeks ago I mixed and poured my own concrete by hand. My body was utterly destroyed, my hands were all chewed up, and the slab ended up looking like shit.
[22:36:00] <cmn32480> concrete ain't esay
[22:36:25] <SlantEyedYellow> One 90-pound sack of concrete isn't shit. You tend to need a lot more than you think for these projects. I know a guy who needed over 100 just to do front steps to his house.
[22:36:30] <cmn32480> damn... one of my eggs leaked
[22:36:39] <SlantEyedYellow> Now I have to do an even bigger slab tomorrow, and not looking forward to it.
[22:36:53] <cmn32480> i bet
[22:37:06] <cmn32480> try getting it delivered in a truck?
[22:37:23] <SlantEyedYellow> cmn, I still have to move them around the yard.
[22:37:33] <cmn32480> no
[22:37:33] <SlantEyedYellow> even with a dolly it gets tiring fast
[22:37:46] <cmn32480> mixed.. in the trck
[22:37:52] <SlantEyedYellow> too expensive
[22:37:54] <cmn32480> and poured
[22:37:57] <cmn32480> ahhhh
[22:38:02] <SlantEyedYellow> the point is for me to do the work so I get the money I need
[22:38:17] <SlantEyedYellow> Which is a pretty fair arrangement considering what she's paying me to do it.
[22:38:25] <cmn32480> understtood
[22:40:07] <cmn32480> and she likes watching your tight young body sweat
[22:40:19] <SlantEyedYellow> I do gratuitously work shirtless in the hot sun
[22:40:24] <SlantEyedYellow> Hey, it's humid.
[22:41:05] <SlantEyedYellow> I'm not exactly chiseled. I have moobs and a gut, but some decent muscle underneath it. And she's a plenty big girl herself.
[22:41:15] <SlantEyedYellow> And at age 35, I'm not really all that "tight"
[22:41:36] * SlantEyedYellow considers selling his anal virginity to a filthy Arab for 10 million bucks
[22:49:11] * cmn32480 thinks about taking a nap unitl tomorrow
[22:49:34] <cmn32480> #sammich Subsentient
[22:49:34] * MrPlow sneaks up behind Subsentient and cuts their throat
[22:49:34] * MrPlow fixes thinly sliced Subsentient's corpse sammiches for everyone in #Soylent
[22:53:32] -!- n1 has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
[23:00:03] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient is out for lunch
[23:00:23] <SlantEyedYellow> i.e. listening to metal
[23:01:06] <Subsentient> sry, had phone call
[23:01:43] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient has a hardon for some nanny, that's what's going on.
[23:04:36] <Subsentient> it was my mother's 75 year old cousin calling over internet issues...
[23:06:36] <Subsentient> https://www.youtube.com
[23:06:37] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity - Cathode Ray Sunshine - YouTube
[23:06:45] <Subsentient> My fucking anthem
[23:06:50] <SlantEyedYellow> Tell her that 75 years in an unnaturally old age to live and that Mother Nature would have had her killed somebody her age on the spot 30 years ago.
[23:07:03] <SlantEyedYellow> Nice, subsentient.
[23:07:09] * SlantEyedYellow has a CRT o-scope
[23:07:25] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Seriously click that shit
[23:07:55] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Yeah well I smoke a pack a day and I'll probably die at 40.
[23:08:29] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: http://i.imgur.com
[23:08:35] <Subsentient> (SFW)
[23:08:37] <SlantEyedYellow> Smoking one pack a day ain't gonna get you killed at 40.
[23:08:47] <Subsentient> meh
[23:08:53] <Subsentient> we'll find out
[23:09:16] <SlantEyedYellow> Whoa, what's your zippo look like?
[23:09:30] <Subsentient> sec
[23:10:01] <SlantEyedYellow> Hey, man, at least you're classy enough to have a zippo
[23:10:02] <Subsentient> http://i.imgur.com http://i.imgur.com
[23:10:20] <Subsentient> Second side is hard to read from the flash, but it says "logica sola veritate"
[23:11:31] <SlantEyedYellow> Nice. The fact that it is well-worn indicates fidelity
[23:11:50] <SlantEyedYellow> The only problem I see with your logic is that humans are illogical.
[23:12:13] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Emotion is a cancer that the world is better off without.
[23:12:38] <SlantEyedYellow> Subsentient, you wouldn't find Spock amused by broiled hog anus.
[23:12:55] <Subsentient> True. I know I'm far from the ideal vulcan myself. :^)
[23:13:25] <Subsentient> http://i.imgur.com
[23:13:27] <SlantEyedYellow> He would bite into its rubbery, stinky form and say, "I find this most displeasurable"
[23:14:42] <SlantEyedYellow> You cannot get rid of those parts of yourself you hate, so you might as well learn to live with them. Actually, to condider them an advantage.
[23:15:17] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: I know I can't get rid of them, I just strive to operate without them as much as possible.
[23:15:18] <SlantEyedYellow> Everybody is an imperfect asshole. Those who understand and harness that power are much better off than those who repress it.
[23:16:13] <Subsentient> Here, have a picture of one of my flesh eating beetle larvae crawling up a wall. http://i.imgur.com
[23:16:17] <SlantEyedYellow> that's why Satanism is an awesome religion. Unlike other religions, Satanism not only acknowledges it but encourages it. Unfortunately, it's not without its share of stick-shaking mombo-jumbo.
[23:17:31] <SlantEyedYellow> That thing don't eat nothin but bug flesh
[23:17:55] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Wrong.
[23:18:09] <SlantEyedYellow> What kind of flesh does it eat?
[23:18:11] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: It eats cat food, chicken, anything dead.
[23:18:20] <Subsentient> If I died, they'd swarm over me and eat me.
[23:18:22] <Subsentient> Down to the skeleton.
[23:18:29] <SlantEyedYellow> Yeah, pretty much all bugs.
[23:18:52] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: Museums use these to clean skeletons.
[23:18:58] <Subsentient> They'll pick it completely clean
[23:19:10] <SlantEyedYellow> Nice.
[23:19:30] * SlantEyedYellow relays this information on to his cartel buddies
[23:19:34] <Subsentient> lol
[23:19:53] <SlantEyedYellow> Bugs are elegant in their simplicity.
[23:19:56] <Subsentient> Scientific name is Dermestes Maculatus.
[23:20:10] <SlantEyedYellow> They form complex societies that get along better than human societies do.
[23:20:33] <Subsentient> Yup. These little guys get along well with each other, and they're pretty smart for bugs.
[23:21:34] <Subsentient> I keep them in a transparent tub with cat food in it by the toilet. They're my entertainment while I take a dump.
[23:22:05] <SlantEyedYellow> Jesus Christ, you are one polymorphously perverse individual.
[23:22:26] <Subsentient> I prefer 'benignly deranged'
[23:23:33] <Subsentient> When the cats think their food is too old, I feed it to the beetles.
[23:28:27] <Subsentient> SlantEyedYellow: https://www.youtube.com
[23:28:32] <systemd> ^ 03Dark Tranquillity - Senses Tied - YouTube
[23:32:44] -!- SlantEyedYellow has quit [Quit: Web client closed]